Thursday, May 19, 2011

Are You Prepared For The Z-O-M-B-I-E-A-P-O-C-A-L-Y-P-S-E?

So it's late at night and a meteor strikes, a power plant explodes, a government-created-illness gets out of control....and WHAM! Zombies begin flooding the streets. And they're hungry. For. Your. BRAINS!

What do you do?

Well, if it were me, I might scream, grab a baseball bat and start knocking some heads off of some corpsified-brain-eating-mongers.

But I'm not super strong. Or coordinated.

So I decide the only way to really protect myself is to grab my kids and RUN!

I high-tail it outta sight with my kids in tow. Only problem is - I have no food, clothing or water. ATMS are broken and I ain't got no cash.

Well shoot, Vern. This is a bit of a problem.

Especially since my tank is only 1/4 full.

Especially since there aren't no stores open on account that everyone else has fled.

Especially since the nearest water source (which I wouldn't drink from if you paid me) seems to have green fumes wafting from it.

I'm so screwed.

Now my kids are arguing because they actually have to communicate with each other instead of hiding behind a Nintendo DS. They're also crying because everytime the car hits a bump they think it's a zombie. Which it is. But I just tell them it was a speed bump. On the highway.

So what now?

Do we give up? Surrender to this zombie apocalyse? Become one of them?

We could.

But I'm too darned stubborn for that.

And all that keeps going through my mind is the woulda-shoulda-coulda. Then I remember that website with the great article about how to prepare for the Zombie Apocalypse. And I remember that I followed every direction. And stowed it all away neatly in the stow-and-go seats of my van.

Thank heavens for the CDC!

(Now that IS ironic!)

But seriously, wanna know how to survive a Zombie Apocalypse, hurricane or natural disaster for realz? Then you really need to follow that link above. Here it is again just in case, yaknow, you missed it.

4 comments:

lbdiamond said...

LOL! Well, now I feel better that the CDC has time to devote to this.

Angela Felsted said...

So funny, and a great reminder to get prepared!

Angie said...

Hahahahaha. That's awesome. I think I'll take the zombie apocalypse approach next time I have to teach a lesson on emergency preparedness. I wonder how the Relief Society sisters would respond.

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